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In 2002 while pregnant with Mia I ballooned from 144 lbs to 205 lbs, the result of just indulging … eating anything I wanted, as much as I wanted and as often as I wanted….really bad idea. After she was born, I still weighed 205 lbs. One of the things I noticed was this: when you are overweight, people don’t seem to see you; they tend to look past you, I felt invisible. I hated feeling invisible. When you look good, it shows both on the inside and the outside. It felt horrible that no one ever commented that I looked nice and it just felt really defeating; not at all what I used to feel like before the birth of my second child.
My father would say “Mohammad Ali won the world championship at 205 lbs.” That was his way of telling me, in a joking way, that I needed to get it together and lose the weight. By watching my portion sizes, running a little and trying to get into the Police Academy I was able to get my weight down to 180 lbs. These activities were self-propelled, but I could not seem to get my weight any lower, so I knew something more had to be done. I started taking Tae Kwon Do in 2010, but was only able to drop down to 166 lbs going 5 days a week. It just didn’t seem to be enough to get myself where I wanted to be. I kept fluctuating between 166 and 180. My determination to reach a goal became stronger.
The Police Department started holding free crossfit classes on Wednesdays as an experiment. I was pretty much the only one that showed up on a consistent basis, so they cancelled the class because there was not enough participation. I was heartbroken. I had enjoyed it. I believed it embodied the activities that would get me where I wanted to be. Then Corporal Judy Diaz began posting Crossfit Jaguar items on Facebook. I was very much intrigued by it all. She finally asked if someone would do the “look good naked challenge” that started January 15, 2012. Since I had tried Crossfit in the PD classes and knew of a fellow Police Officer who had lost a tremendous amount of weight doing it, I knew I really wanted the concept of Crossfit to become part of my profile. I looked in the mirror and did not like what I saw … once again tipping the scales at 180 lbs. Right then and there I decided I was gonna go for the gusto and lose ALL of the weight I needed to lose. My ultimate goal is to get to 135 lbs and maintain 135-140 lbs by December 15, 2013.
I joined the “look good naked challenge” at 180 lbs (a man’s weight) and finished the challenge weighing 164 lbs. I remember coming to the first class. The work out of the day was the Filthy Fifty which still sticks in my mind as one of the toughest WODS I have ever had to do. I had to convince myself to come every day and managed to only miss one class during the challenge.
The Paleo and Primal diets were difficult for me in the very beginning, especially since I enjoy sugar and dairy products as much as I do…hell I enjoyed every kind of food, so these diets were a drastic difference. I stuck to the diet about 95% of the time during the challenge which I thought wasn’t so bad considering I was just starting. After a while, I got used to the diet and even allowed myself café con leche Fridays so that I didn’t feel too deprived. After all, I used to have it every day. I ran the 400 and felt out of breath. Let’s not even talk about the day Paula had us run 1 ½ miles for time; needless to say, I stopped several times and was out of breath so bad I was gonna have to pull a Sanford and Son and call for Elizabeth myself….I have felt like that MANY times, but kept coming back and Crossfit eventually became an addiction.
When I finished the first challenge it left me wondering what’s next. They then announced that the swim suit challenge would begin. I had a long way to go to achieve my goal, so I signed up for the second challenge weighing in at 166 lbs and finishing up at 152 lbs. My goal for that challenge was to be at 149, so I was 3 pounds shy of my goal, but proud of myself nonetheless.
I can’t count all of the ways that I have benefited from Crossfit. The most significant thing it has done for me is to make me feel like I’m in the game of life again. People notice me again and I get compliments all the time. I am working my way out of double digit clothes! Got rid of all my size 16, 14, 12 - now trying to work myself out of a size 10! My stamina, strength, endurance have increased. I used to say “I CAN’T” that changed to “I will try” then it changed to “let me give that a shot and see if I can get that” and now it’s “LET ME CONQUER THAT THING”. My eating habits have improved. I know exactly what I can and can’t eat. I feel really weighted down and guilty eating the wrong things, so I don’t very often. I now feel more like I felt like when I was 32, the person who looks forward to what is next, who sets ever higher goals, and who ponders the many new adventures on the horizon!
I don’t know if I should get my head examined or not, but here it is: my next big adventure is Tough Mudder, beginning on December 1st……I have to remember that I have a new philosophy “let me conquer that thing”…..no more “I can’t.” So what is next after that? All I know is that it will involve Crossfit Jaguar and all of the wonderful, dynamic and awesome people that I have met that inspire me to finish even when I am feeling like Sanford; who urge me to up the game (Paula) by giving me the hairy eyeball when I’m lifting too light a weight; who push me (Zena) when I don’t think I can do enough regular pushups. I feel like I now have another family….Crossfit Jaguar. Thanks to everyone for the encouragement and for telling me how nice I look, because you will never know just how much I needed to hear that !! On top of it all I won the “most transformed” category of the swimsuit challenge. Nothing is better than being NOTICED by your peers and feeling good about who you are!
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